You’ve read the advice, you’ve seen the TED Talks—mentorship is the magic career ingredient everyone swears by. But actually getting one? That part’s a little murky.
Good news: it doesn’t take a formal program or a dramatic “Will you be my mentor?” moment. With the right approach, you can build real, supportive relationships with people who’ve been where you want to go.
Here’s how to ask for mentorship—without it feeling awkward, transactional, or like a cold LinkedIn message from 2012.
First, Know What You’re Looking For
Before you reach out, get clear on why you want a mentor. Are you…
- Navigating a career pivot?
- Hoping to grow into leadership?
- Struggling with imposter syndrome?
- Trying to break into a new industry?
Knowing your “why” helps you find the right person—and shows you’re not just looking for a generic professional fairy godparent.
Start with Micro-Mentorship Moments
Not every mentor relationship starts with a coffee and a contract. Often, it begins with something small—like asking for advice on one specific topic.
Think:
“I saw you transitioned from sales to product. I’m exploring a similar move and would love to hear what surprised you about the shift.”
That’s it. A single, thoughtful question is often the first spark. It’s low pressure and shows respect for their time.
Find Mentors in Your Everyday Orbit
You don’t need a CEO or LinkedIn influencer. Start by scanning your own circle.
- A manager from another team
- A coworker two steps ahead of you
- A friend who made a career move you admire
- A past colleague doing cool things now
- Someone you met at a conference or workshop
Mentorship doesn’t have to be a dramatic power gap. Sometimes the best guides are just a few steps ahead—and happy to help.
Make the Ask Clear (But Chill)
When you’re ready to ask for something more regular, aim for confident but casual. Try:
“I’ve really appreciated your insights, and I’d love to learn more from you. Would you be open to a monthly 30-minute chat for a few months as I navigate [insert challenge]?”
Key ingredients:
- Be specific about the time frame and commitment
- Share why you’re asking them
- Keep the tone friendly—not stiff or salesy
Most people won’t say yes to a vague “Can you mentor me?” but they will say yes to a clear, limited, human request.
Bring Something to the Table
Mentorship is a two-way street—even if one person has more experience.
Ways you can bring value:
- Share articles or tools they might find helpful
- Offer to help with small tasks (like reviewing slides or doing research)
- Be a sounding board for their ideas
- Just show up consistently and be curious—that energy matters
When you’re engaged and appreciative, the mentor gets something out of it too.
Don’t Be Weird About Scheduling
If they say yes, awesome. Now be the one who handles the logistics.
- Suggest times
- Send the calendar invite
- Share a short agenda or questions in advance
- Keep the convo on track—and wrap it up on time
People love helping… when it’s easy to help. Make it easy.
Normalize Mentorship Ending (Or Evolving)
Not every mentorship lasts forever. And that’s okay.
Maybe your goals shift. Maybe their time does. Maybe you both feel the convo has run its course.
You can say:
“I’m so grateful for the time you’ve spent with me—it’s been incredibly helpful. I’m starting to shift into a new phase and just wanted to say thank you again for your guidance.”
No hard feelings. No awkward fadeouts. Just mutual respect.
Bonus: Sometimes the relationship evolves into something more peer-like. That’s a win too.
Be a Mentor, Too
You don’t have to be a VP to mentor someone else.
- Interns
- New grads
- Colleagues switching fields
- Folks one or two steps behind you
Share what you’ve learned. Offer to talk. Say yes to the kinds of asks you’d want to make.
Mentorship is a loop, not a ladder.
